


There Is A Season

by pinkdiamonds



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: AU, Bottom!Jack, Established Relationship, First Time, M/M, Past Time, Romance, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-26
Updated: 2011-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-15 02:46:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/156244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkdiamonds/pseuds/pinkdiamonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Daniel carry on a long-term love affair before the Stargate enters their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There Is A Season

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Council members Mitch, for an intriguing discussion and Holdt, for cheering, for constant support, and for being an amazing, fabulous person. Based on the film 'Same Time, Next Year'. Mention of off screen rape.

### The First Year, 1974

_The Lamar’s_

Lucy and Gabe stood over the boy’s bed, watching his restless tossing, looking at each other in concern when he began muttering in a foreign language. By unspoken agreement, they left the room to hold a private conversation away from the child.

Seated comfortably in the living room, sipping a glass of wine, Lucy turned loving eyes to her husband. “Can we do this, Gabe?”

“We’re his best shot, Luce,” he replied, hiding his own doubts for her sake.

“Maybe we’re too old…” she started.

“Jeez, honey. You act like we’re ancient. There are plenty of parents in their forties, babe. You know what Mrs. Elliot said,” he argued.

“I know, but it’s been six months and he still hasn’t said a word,” Lucy fretted.

“He’s only been with us for three months, Lucy. Once Daniel understands he’s not going anywhere, he’ll start talking again. If he’s as bright as Mrs. Elliot says, he won’t be able to help himself. Maybe you can talk to him about your work,” Gabe said.

“I have. He seems to get angry that I’m talking about anthropology rather than archeology,” she persisted.

Gabe held his wife’s hand. “Well, I know he has no interest in political science. His eyes glaze over whenever the subject comes up,” he noted. “Do you think a vacation might help?”

“What did you have in mind?” Lucy inquired.

“I was thinking Quadra Island. We could take one of the cabins at April Point. There’s a lot for a kid Daniel’s age to do,” Gabe responded. “And there’s the spa for you if I take him fishing,” he said, chuckling a bit.

Lucy kissed Gabe, smiling widely. “I think that’s a wonderful idea. I’ll book it tomorrow for the day after school ends!”

### June

The Lamar’s stepped lightly off the boat, Gabe, unobtrusively helping Daniel. Nothing had changed in the two months since Gabe and Lucy had thought a vacation might help Daniel.

The Lamar’s had placed Daniel in a private school that dealt both with children recovering from trauma and those who were unable to attend regular school due to developmental disorders. He worked with a counselor every day, but he still refused to talk.

Despite his silence, the teachers loved him. Daniel was obviously bright and inquisitive, seeming eager to help his teachers. He completed any work given to him quickly and then went on to assist the other students. The Lamar’s had been told that Daniel would speak when he was ready and not a moment sooner. They continued to shower him with love, hoping each day would bring a breakthrough.

After they had found their cabin, Gabe suggested to Daniel that he might want to walk around and investigate the grounds. There was no place in April Point that Daniel could get into trouble. Should Daniel wander off the resort’s property, he would still be safe; the island’s population of just around twenty five hundred, consisted mostly of artists and their families. There were several walking trails scattered around the resort, but they were well marked and safe enough, even for an inquisitive nine year old.

_The O’Neill’s_

The O’Neill family had rented the large guesthouse, along with five cabins. The older folks would stay in their chosen rooms, but the younger ones would sleep wherever they dropped as they moved from the guesthouse and from cabin to cabin as the whim took them. Many of the younger people brought sleeping bags so they could crash in groups. Cousins of various ages would gather and spend their time gossiping, eating, roughhousing, and laughing.

This was the second time the family had come to April Point and no one was bored yet. They had been gathering once a year for two generations and every few years the location changed. This location was perfect for both the men and the women. There was fishing for the men, water sports for the kids, and a full spa for the women, in addition to boating, hiking, and a truly outstanding kitchen.

Jack O’Neill, with two years behind him at the Air Force Academy was having a blast. Some of the cousins had brought their girlfriends or their boyfriends and Jack was an equal opportunity flirt. He never let it get serious, especially with the guys, but he had a great time, keeping himself on the edge, loving the feeling of anticipation zinging through his body.

He was busy flirting now with the twenty five year old bad-boy boyfriend of his second cousin, Lori. The guy, Barry, couldn’t have made his interest plainer. He was just the kind of guy Jack was attracted to, and he knew if he were in the mood for sex, it would be easy to sneak out and find some privacy. He was mulling over these options when his eye caught the movements of a small boy seated outside the sliding glass doors, looking in.

When it became obvious the child wasn’t going anywhere, Jack went to investigate. He didn’t recognize the kid and under normal circumstances, he would’ve just dragged the kid in and thrown him in the middle of the younger cousins. One thing every O’Neill had in common was a love for children. It didn’t matter if they belonged to the family or not, they were all welcome.

But there was something off with this kid. His blue eyes, hidden behind thick glasses, seemed enormous in his too thin face, and he looked close to tears. The boy seemed a bit old to be crying in public and that had Jack’s radar buzzing.

Telling Barry he’d speak with him later, Jack went through the front door and quietly made his way around to the back. He thought if he’d gone through the sliding door, the kid would’ve taken off running.

Jack approached the boy cautiously, making sure to keep some distance between them. He sat behind the child, and began talking in a low voice. “Hey, kid. You could come in if you wanted to. My little cousins are a pretty good bunch of kids.”

Daniel had known Jack was there but had waited to see what he would do before he turned to face him. He stared up at him, studying his sharp features and warm brown eyes.

Jack put out his hand. “Hi. I’m Jack O’Neill.”

Daniel, in a gesture born in that moment, ducked his head shyly and peeked at Jack through long eyelashes. He put his small hand out and it was promptly swallowed by Jack’s much larger one.

‘You got a name, kid?”

“D – D – Daniel,” he stuttered.

“Hello, Daniel. Would you like to come in and play?” Jack asked.

“I – I – I’d have to check with my f – foster parents,” Daniel said.

“Foster parents, huh? How about if I come with you so I can ask them?” Jack inquired. Everything about this kid had Jack in overprotective overdrive. He felt the need to make sure that Daniel wasn’t so skittish due to abuse.

Daniel took hold of Jack’s hand and led him to the cabin he was staying in. He dragged Jack inside, much to the surprise of Lucy and Gabe.

Jack immediately introduced himself, explaining how he’d met Daniel.

“He talked to you?” Lucy interrupted him, tears streaming down her face.

“Daniel, go get yourself a snack,” Gabe ordered. He waited until Daniel had left the room before turning to Jack. “Daniel’s parents were killed eight months ago and he… shut down. He hasn’t said a word since the accident,” he explained.

Lucy got herself under control, wiping at her eyes. She grabbed Jack’s hands. “I don’t know why he spoke to you, Mr. O’Neill, but thank you. Thank you so much.”

Before Jack could answer her, Daniel returned to the living room, almost dancing in excitement. “Can I go play with Jack’s cousins, Mrs. Lamar?”

Jack, even at the young age of nineteen was able to see how torn Mr. and Mrs. Lamar were, and decided to step in. “You’d be welcome to join us. The kind of crowd we got, a few extra people won’t even be noticed.”

Lucy and Gabe accepted the invitation and for the first time got to see Daniel acting like the nine year old boy he was. It was a tiny miracle, and they hugged the memory of it for years to come.

### The Second Year, 1985

_Daniel_

Over the next eleven years, Daniel Jackson had cause to be very grateful to Mrs. Elliot, the social worker who had placed him with the Lamar’s. Lucy and Gabe had wanted to adopt or foster a baby, but, Mrs. Lamar, at forty-two had been considered too old by the state of New York.

Mrs. Elliot had convinced them to take on Daniel, brilliant and traumatized, and at nine, too old for a permanent placement with most foster families. The Lamar’s were college professors, both of whom taught at the graduate level, and therefore well able to deal with a profoundly gifted child. They were responsible for getting him into an accelerated program in high school and allowing him to begin college at age sixteen.

They were also responsible for giving Daniel a family, and becoming a second set of parents. Daniel knew how lucky he was; he could have ended up with people who were abusive or just overwhelmed. Instead, he became the much-loved son of the affluent and loving couple.

Daniel had sailed through college in under three years and had already begun his doctorate work. In May, he found himself in Lebanon on a dig. He would have preferred Egypt, but lately, the Egyptian government was severely limiting dig permits to non-Egyptian archeologists.

Daniel knew most everyone on the dig and settled in immediately, looking forward to the work. The dig was in a remote part of Lebanon, and rumors were generally slow to reach the surrounding villages. Two weeks into the dig, however, rumors of kidnapped Americans began reaching the villages.

Several students decided to leave, but Daniel felt he was in no danger. He was fluent in Arabic and French and could get by in Armenian, the languages spoke in Lebanon, and he got along well with the people. A week later, local authorities shut down the dig with no explanation.

For the first time in years, Daniel was at loose ends. He knew he’d be welcome home, and a number of other invitations had come his way. He was too restless to go home just yet and none of the invitations were appealing. It was a spur of the moment decision on his part to visit Quadra Island. He wired April Point, and was able to secure a small cabin.

_Jack_

“Look, Jack, I just think it’s time to move on to the next phase of our lives. I get that you’re not ready to get married, but I am,” Sara argued.

“I’m sorry, Sara, I’m really not ready to get married. If you feel you need to move on, I understand. You’ve got to do what you feel is best for you,” he responded, feeling the old familiar pressure.

“I’m pregnant,” she blurted out.

“Pregnant! How the fuck did that happen?” Jack shouted. Jack was feeling cornered. He was pretty sure he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with Sara, but a baby changed everything. He wasn’t the type of man to run from his responsibilities, but that’s exactly what he felt like doing.

Sara was scared. She had had a feeling this would be Jack’s reaction. They’d been together for a year and Jack had shown no signs he was moving towards marriage. Sara, very much in love with him, had wanted nothing more. She wouldn’t sacrifice her pride though. “Take a few weeks, Jack. I already know what I’m going to do. Get back to me when you’ve made up your mind,” she implored.

She gathered her belongings, leaving a stunned and angry Jack to consider his options. Jack had never wanted or expected to marry Sara. He cared for Sara, loved her in his own way, but wasn’t _in_ love with her. Not with that all encompassing, can’t-breath-without-you love.

Jack reflected back over the last eleven years, second guessing most of his life choices. He had always felt his freedom had truly ended after his sophomore year at the Academy. His leadership abilities and piloting skills had caused him to be noticed by any number of superior officers. He’d been tapped for more responsibility each year since.

The week he’d spent on Quadra Island, sneaking out to meet the boyfriend of his cousin for easy, no strings sex was the last time he had been able to indulge in guilt free sex. After that week, he was confined to fugitive, anonymous sex that carried the danger of discovery at every moment. Or the somewhat unsatisfying sex he had with any number of women he dated. Sara was just the last in a long line of tall, attractive women Jack had dated over the years.

He hadn’t gotten serious with any one of them. He tried; but when they started talking about marriage and a house with a white picket fence, Jack firmly told them goodbye, or waited for them to leave him. He had a reputation as a ladies man who would always be a confirmed bachelor.

A small part of Jack couldn’t help but wonder if Sara had gotten pregnant on purpose. She had assured him that she would handle the birth control and Jack had foolishly allowed her to.

Jack had gone out of his way to not hurt any of the women he dated. While he was with a lover, he was charming and attentive; when the relationship was over, he tried hard to remain friends with his former lovers. He just hadn’t found the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He often felt he was being foolish by holding out for something that might not even exist.

Jack was angry that his hand was being forced, and he felt betrayed. He honestly didn’t know what he intended to do. Making a sudden decision, he called his CO and asked for a three-week leave. When it was granted, he called April Point, wanting to revisit the last place he was completely happy and carefree.

#### April Point

After checking in and unpacking his bags, Daniel thought he’d take a walk. He wanted to explore the island and walk some of the trails. He was here for a week and he wanted to play.

~0~

Jack had asked for the most private cabin and had been lucky enough to get it for two weeks. April Point’s busy summer season didn’t get off the ground until late June and at this time of the year the place was nearly deserted.

Jack hit the gym, trying to clear his mind and work off some of his anger. He swam twenty laps and then spent some time in the steam room. He returned to his cabin and showered quickly. He was looking forward to having a beer in the pub before sitting down to dinner.

~0~

Daniel rushed through his shower, hunger pains gnawing at his belly. He was starving and followed his nose to the dining room.

“Mr. Jackson, how are you tonight?” Mrs. Peterson, the owner’s wife, greeted him.

“Hungry, Mrs. Peterson,” he replied.

“The chef has a couple of good specials tonight. I’m going to ask a favor, though. Would you mind sitting with another guest? We’re a bit shorthanded tonight, and the dining room is more crowded than usual. For some reason, it looks like half the town decided to eat out.”

“Sure. Just as long as I get fed soon,” Daniel answered smiling.

She collected a menu and led Daniel to a table for two where another man was seated. “Major O’Neill?” she interrupted. “This is Mr. Jackson. He’ll be sitting with you tonight.”

Jack stood to shake hands with the young man. “Hi, I’m Jack.” Jack took in the other man in a single glance. All six feet of straight, firm body, his longish, sun streaked hair tied back, the beguiling blue eyes behind stylish glasses, and the plump lips, made for kissing. Shit, Jack thought, why now? How unlucky was he that this walking, breathing bit of temptation would show up now?

“Daniel Jackson. Good to met you, Jack,” Daniel said sitting down.

The two men examined their menus and made their minds up quickly. Their waitress, Tiffany seemed quite taken with both Jack and Daniel, outrageously flirting with them both before she took their orders.

When she walked away, Jack eyed Daniel speculatively. “Looks like you can have built in entertainment if you wanted it, Daniel.”

Looking at Jack through his eyelashes, Daniel commented shyly. “Um, she’s a bit overt for my taste. Besides, she was just as interested in you as she was me.”

Jack didn’t want to make his dining companion uncomfortable, so he wasn’t about to admit he was much more attracted to Daniel than to the rather obvious Tiffany.

Daniel’s shy comment and look had triggered a memory for Jack, one he couldn’t quite grasp, but he was sure he’d met Daniel at some point in his life, as far fetched as that seemed to Jack.

Putting aside Tiffany’s interest and Daniel’s comment, Jack asked, “Have we met before?”

“Not unless you’ve been hanging out at my college campus or middle eastern archeological digs,” Daniel laughed.

“I’m serious, Daniel. Is this your first visit to April Point?” Jack inquired.

“Actually, no, it’s not. I was here once before when I was nine. It was right after my parents died. I wouldn’t talk and my foster parents thought a vacation might help me,” Daniel recalled. “Guess they were right. I started to talk and I haven’t shut up since.”

A series of images was triggered for Jack, and he suddenly remembered everything about his encounter with the boy Daniel had been eleven years ago. “Do you remember the guy that took you to your foster parents to get permission to play?” Jack smirked.

A pair of warm brown eyes was the only memory Daniel had of the man that had been so kind to him. Eyes very similar to the ones he was now staring into. “Um, not really. I was just a kid, and a pretty messed up one at that.”

“That was me, Daniel. Hell, I was a kid myself. I was only nineteen and I thought maybe your foster parents were abusing you,” Jack explained.

Daniel broke out in laughter at the thought of Lucy and Gabe Lamar abusing him. “If you knew how special my parents are, you’d understand why I’m laughing,” Daniel apologized. “That was you? My parents often speak of how that vacation made us a family.”

“I’m glad to know everything worked out for you,” Jack said, just as their dinner was served.

Both men had opted for seafood fettuccine in Alfredo sauce and their plates were brimming with pasta, shrimp, tiny bay scallops, and chunks of sweet and succulent lobster. Mrs. Peterson had sent a complimentary bottle of wine since they had been willing to share a table.

The two men ate, taking the time to savor their meal, talking throughout the meal. Despite the differences in their ages and life experiences, they hit it off and found they liked each other a great deal.

They completed their dinner with vanilla bean cheesecake and hot, steaming coffee. They lingered over coffee, reluctant to part company for the emptiness of their cabins. “How about a game of chess?” Daniel proposed.

“You’re on! But be prepared to take a beating,” Jack answered quickly.

When they got to Daniel’s cabin, he hurriedly dug out his travel game and the two men sat, often in silence, and spent the rest of the night playing chess. Jack easily beat Daniel twice, the third game going to Daniel when Jack was concentrating more on thinking what it would be like to kiss his chess partner than the game.

It was midnight when Jack said goodnight.

~0~

Jack lingered over his breakfast the next morning, hoping he would see Daniel. His patience was rewarded when a flustered Daniel rushed into the dining room, looking around.

His face lit up when he saw Jack. He made his way to the table and sat without an invitation. “I was hoping to catch you,” he said. “Do you want to go on the whale watch cruise this afternoon?” he asked a bit breathless.

“I was actually thinking of going on the wildlife cruise. I guess we can do that tomorrow,” Jack exclaimed, aware that he included Daniel in his plans with no thought at all. It just felt natural. There was no debate or worry that Daniel would feel the need to hem and haw before he made up his mind. Just the assumption that they would spend time together and have fun no matter what they decided to do.

“So, is that a yes?” Daniel demanded, eyes alight with mischief.

His own eyes warm, Jack answered, “That’s a yes, Daniel. I’d love to go watch whales with you. Which only leaves one question.”

“And what would that be, Jack?” he flirted.

Recognizing and responding to Daniel’s innocent flirting, Jack smiled and asked, “What are we gonna do this morning?”

Daniel had his answer ready. He was drawn to Jack and wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. “I thought we’d go into town, check out a few of the galleries and studios, have a little lunch, and be back in time for the cruise.”

Jack took a sip of coffee, feeling happier than he’d felt in some time. “Well, order breakfast and let’s get going.”

They took the resort shuttle into town and wandered some of the larger galleries and several small studios. Daniel found several watercolors that he would consider purchasing over the next few days. He wanted to wait and see if anything else appealed more. Jack had no such qualms; he found a series of beautiful photographs, depicting a truly stunning sunset and rolling waves taken by one of Quadra’s beaches. He bought two of them, intending on giving one of them to Daniel.

They ate at an outdoor café, munching on a spiced chicken salad with walnuts, accompanied by fresh croissants, fruit salad, and sour pickles. They each had a glass of a crisp Chardonnay.

Jack noticed a pub across the street that offered live music on Friday and Saturday nights. He filed the information away for the upcoming weekend, hoping Daniel liked music as much as he did.

~0~

They made it back just in time for the whale watch, laughing and breathless as they boarded the boat. They were in luck as several pods were in the waters near the island. Jack had done this cruise with his family and remembered how exciting it had been seeing the whales for the first time.

Daniel’s first sight of the killer whales filled his face with such joy and wonder and was so beautiful that Jack found himself tumbling into love. He’d been searching for this for so long and when it came, he didn’t trust it, not completely. Not when it had happened so fast, so unexpectedly.

Jack was devastated. And elated. And confused. The only thing that kept Jack from resigning and telling Sara to just get the hell on with her life, pregnancy or no pregnancy, was Daniel’s youth.

Daniel was still getting his education and he was only twenty. Compared to thirty, there was a world of difference. Jack knew he needed time to live, to experience life.

Yet, he was willing to see where this led. He hadn’t forgotten the responsibilities he had at home; the military career that was on the rise and a woman who was pregnant with his child. He started to plan how he could somehow live up to his responsibilities and also keep Daniel in his life.

Because Daniel had been so charmed by the whales, Jack insisted on taking him on another whale watch the next day, rather than the wildlife cruise. If there was time for that, great, if not, seeing Daniel’s face light up was worth missing some bears.

On the night of the second whale-watching cruise, Jack took a chance and lightly kissed Daniel goodnight. Encouraged when Daniel leaned into the kiss, Jack gathered the other man in his arms and deepened the kiss until they were both breathless.

He stepped away before he wanted to and while he still could. “Goodnight, Daniel. I’ll see you for breakfast.”

Blushing when his hands continued to cling for a moment or two, Daniel babbled, “Sure, Jack. That, um, that sounds great.”

Jack walked away grinning. He knew he had to talk to Daniel about Sara and his responsibilities. Now that he knew Daniel was interested, he wanted to have that conversation with him as soon as possible. If he hadn’t been interested, there wouldn’t have been any need for that discussion, but Jack didn’t want to move forward in their relationship without complete honesty.

Daniel already knew he was in the Air Force and Jack was sure he’d have questions about how Jack reconciled his sexuality with his chosen career. He intended to be as open and honest as he could be, something he’d never been with anyone else, not even himself.

As he was falling asleep, he thought he figured out a way to keep Daniel in his life.

~0~

Jack and Daniel were finishing breakfast and discussing their plans for the day. As the weather had been unseasonably warm, they decided to rent a boat and spend the day swimming and exploring one of the smaller, uninhabited islands near Quadra Island. When asked, Mrs. Peterson was happy to provide a picnic lunch.

Jack decided that didn’t want his secret going along with them. “Daniel, do you mind if we talk privately before we go?”

“Sure, it’s going to take Mrs. Peterson a little bit of time to get our lunch ready.”

Jack’s cabin was in the most isolated part of resort, near the very edge of a small bluff, overlooking the ocean. Jack could have talked to Daniel outside, but he thought inside would be better in the event of raised voices.

Once they were both seated in the small living room, Jack immediately explained his relationship with Sara and her pregnancy.

“What are you going to do?” Daniel asked, hurt evident in his tone.

“I’m going to marry her,” Jack rasped, despair etched upon his face.

“Then what was last night about, Jack? A final fling?” he guessed.

“No, Daniel, it wasn’t about that at all! You’ve got to believe me,” Jack pleaded.

“Actually, I don’t. I suppose I _should_ thank you for not seducing me,” Daniel said.

“Daniel, please. Give me a chance to explain. It’s not like that,” he appealed to the younger man.

“So, tell me, Jack, what is it like?” Daniel challenged.

“When I was a junior at the Academy, I had certain skills that brought me to the attention of a number of superior officers. I was told I could go far, but they’d noticed that unlike most of the other cadets, I wasn’t exactly cutting a swath through the women,” Jack recalled.

“I was advised that I needed to change that in order to make rank, so I did. I dated one beautiful woman after another. I tried to fall in love with them, but every time they got serious, I ran,” he explained.

“Why didn’t you just resign and live the way you wanted?” Daniel asked.

“I always wanted to fly. It’s all I ever wanted to do. I’m not proud of myself, but I swear, I did my best to not hurt any one of those women,” Jack answered.

“How do I fit into all this?”

“You? I know you’ll find this hard to believe, Daniel, god knows I do. I… I think I’m falling in love with you,” he confessed.

“You’re right, I do find it hard to believe,” Daniel allowed.

“Daniel, I’ve been having sex with guys for a long time. Usually I go to New York or LA and it’s just about the sex. If that’s all I wanted from you, I would’ve fucked you raw last night and for the rest of your vacation and then let you go without a word. I think we both know you were up for it,” he argued.

Daniel had to concede to himself that this was true. “Where does that leave us, Jack? I can’t see this going anywhere,” he retorted.

“We don’t know that, Daniel. Let’s get to know each other a little better,” he coaxed.

“What would be the point?” Daniel asked.

“I think we’ve make a connection here. I’d like the chance to find out. Let’s make a pact, Daniel. Right here and right now. Meet me here next year,” Jack implored, grasping Daniel’s hands. “I can’t change what happened before I met you, I wish I could. If you were a few years older, I’d be willing to give it all up,” he insisted.

“As crazy as it sounds, I’m falling in love with you, Daniel,” Jack repeated, wanting Daniel to know exactly how he felt. “I can do what I have to do if I know you’ll be here next year,” Jack said.

“I – I’ll think about it, Jack,” Daniel promised.

Jack had to accept that for the moment, but he vowed to himself he’d work overtime to convince Daniel to meet him here next year.

~0~

The two men agreed to put off their boat trip till the next day. Jack wanted some time to regain the footing they’d started with and Daniel felt too raw and exposed to want to be so alone with Jack for the entire day.

He needed the buffer of other people until he felt more sure of himself and of Jack. They decided to play golf and then come back to the resort to play some pool and perhaps take a swim.

Jack kept things light and easy all day, joking and gently teasing Daniel, until he forgot he was angry and hurt and laughed. The mood between them lightened after that, and by dinner, Daniel was his usual chatty self, going on about the theories he was beginning to develop in linguistics.

There was a bit of awkwardness when Jack said goodnight. He didn’t move to kiss Daniel as he had the night before, and Daniel was inexplicitly hurt. Daniel had had some time to think during the day and he quickly realized that the only thing Jack owed him was honesty and he’d gotten that.

Daniel knew he looked liked innocence personified, but he was no stranger to flings and while he didn’t make a practice of it, he’d had a couple of one-night stands in his life as well. There had been some experimentation with men, although he’d never been comfortable enough for penetrative sex. His last relationship had been with a woman fifteen years his senior, so the age difference between him and Jack barely registered.

If this attraction between him and Jack was only a fling, Daniel could live with it. The problem was, that he was starting to wonder why he’d gotten so upset when Jack had told him about Sara. It wasn’t as though he had a claim on Jack. Whatever Jack had done in his life was immaterial to the connection they’d found with each other. Daniel now felt his feelings were more deeply engaged than he’d first thought.

He somehow knew Jack was allowing him to set the pace. Daniel didn’t question why his feelings were hurt; he grabbed the front of Jack’s shirt and hauled him in for a kiss. He refused to hurry, just kissed at his leisure, thoroughly exploring Jack’s mouth.

When he ended the kiss, he was happy to note Jack looked as shaken as he felt. “Good night, Jack. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

A wide smile creased Jack’s face. “That you will, Daniel,” he said before he turned for his own cabin.

~0~

They moored off a tiny island in an isolated cove and swam for an hour in the calm blue water, chasing each other and playing. The boat was equipped with rafts and floats, so they loaded their lunch and some towels onto one of the rafts and swam for the pristine white beach.

They spread the towels and dug into the simple, but ample meal provided by Mrs. Peterson. They ate in relative silence, the gentle push and pull of the ocean and the occasional raucous calling of seabirds the only sounds they heard.

The sun, salt air, vigorous exercise, and hearty meal all combined to make the two men drowsy, and they dozed for a time, stretched out, side-by-side. Jack awoke first, listening to Daniel as he breathed steadily, occasionally letting out a sleepy snuffle. He watched him, taken once again by the beauty of his face. Jack didn’t often think of men as beautiful; in Daniel’s case, it fit.

Without thought, his hand wandered and was he unable to keep himself from stroking the beautiful face and the strong neck. Daniel stirred under Jack’s caresses and opened sleepy blue eyes. He leaned into the large, warm hand, and reached out to touch the strong arm attached to the hand.

Daniel tugged and Jack willing went into Daniel’s arms. Jack angled his lips and kissed the younger man, not falling into the kiss, as he would’ve liked, but keeping it slow and easy.

It wasn’t enough for Daniel, not nearly enough. Daniel was deceptively strong; it was impossible to spend as much on archeological digs as he did without building muscle. He used that strength now to grab Jack and roll them both over, never breaking the kiss.

Once Daniel was on top, he deepened the kiss, grasping Jack’s head, threading his fingers through the thick, rich brown hair, the strands sliding silkily against his skin. Getting into the kiss, getting into Jack, he could feel his erection swelling and bumping a matching hard on.

Grinding his hips and pushing into Jack slowly and sensuously, Daniel let one kiss flow into the next. He could feel their heartbeats speeding up and heard their breathing turn ragged.

Daniel moved his hands to strip their swimming trunks off, Jack helping as soon as he realized what Daniel wanted. “Spread your legs, and hang on for the ride,” Daniel panted as soon as they were both naked.

Daniel climbed back on top of Jack and continued his slow grind against the muscled body beneath him, their cocks sliding together, heat building.

They lost some friction as they began to sweat, but they barely noticed. It had been a long time since Jack had felt the full weight of a man on him, and had had the chance to stroke a hard body.

He reveled in feeling strength nearly equal to his own, and the way Daniel had taken the initiative, thrusting against him, expecting his submission. He gripped Daniel’s sweet ass, silently communicating his need for harder and faster.

It had been too long for Jack. He met and matched Daniel’s powerful thrusts, his head thrown back, neck muscles corded. He came explosively against the hard, slim body pounding into him, groaning deeply.

Feeling Jack’s thick cock pulsing out its pleasure, Daniel kept thrusting, sliding his cock through Jack’s semen. He came, grunting, moments later, his face buried in Jack’s neck, as Jack held him closely.

They held each other through the aftershocks and the afterglow, unable to stop kissing, content and happy to be close. After an hour, they cleaned up the remains of their lunch and swam back to the boat.

~0~

They headed back to April Point, shooting each other heated gazes and touching whenever they could. Once they tied up the boat, Jack asked Daniel to have dinner in his cabin. He was sure he’d be able to persuade Mrs. Peterson to have dinner and a bottle or two of wine delivered, along with a table cloth, and some candles.

Jack hadn’t missed her smiles and nods of tacit approval whenever she spotted him with Daniel. He supposed being in the hotel business opened what might normally be narrow eyes, wide, At any rate, she seemed to know about their budding relationship and Jack didn’t think she gave a damn one way or the other.

Daniel didn’t answer immediately. He knew what Jack was asking. He only had a few more days of vacation left, but he quickly decided that spending them in Jack’s bed was something he wanted very much.

“Seven okay with you? I want to write a few postcards.”

“That’s great. I’ll see you then,” Jack responded.

Mrs. Peterson was happy to accommodate Jack. She promised dinner would arrive promptly at seven thirty and had him wait while she gathered a tablecloth, a dozen candles, and two bottles of red wine, instructing him to pop the cork an hour before he intended serving it.

Jack hurried back to his cabin to shower and to set the table and the mood. Making love with Daniel on the beach had been totally unexpected. Unexpected, but not unwelcome. Jack was hoping he could convince Daniel to stay with him for the week he had left.

Daniel arrived a few minutes before seven, trying not to look as anxious as he felt. Wearing jeans and a button down shirt, he grinned at Jack’s thoroughly lecherous stare, and returned the favor.

Jack hustled Daniel in to the candlelit room, the only other light coming from a small lamp he’d dragged into the living room from the bedroom. He sat Daniel on the couch and pressed a glass of wine into his hands.

Daniel slowly sipped the Pinot Noir in appreciation. “I take it we’re having meat for dinner,” he commented.

“Mmm,” Jack acknowledged. “Rack of lamb, baked potatoes, and grilled baby carrots. And we’re starting with lobster bisque and clams on the half shell.”

“You didn’t have to go to all this trouble, Jack. Not that I don’t appreciate it,” Daniel said.

“I wanted to go to all this trouble, Daniel. Don’t sweat it,” he chuckled.

The two lovers talked, and when their meal was delivered, they ate, and discussed their plans for tomorrow.

“I want to go and pick up those watercolors we saw,” Daniel said.

“Sounds good, but I have a proposition for you, Daniel,” Jack countered. “I know you only took your cabin for a week. I’d like you to stay for another week. Here, with me,” Jack laid out his plan.

“No pressure, Daniel. This cabin has two bedrooms.”

Daniel didn’t need to think about anything anymore. “I’d love to stay on, but I don’t think we’ll need two bedrooms, do you?” he asked flirtatiously.

Smiling, Jack answered, “I was hoping we wouldn’t, but I didn’t want to make any assumptions.”

They finished dinner, with lingering gazes and languid touches. It was a gentle tease, a build up to the passion they both wanted to explore. When they could hold out no longer, they tumbled into Jack’s bed and spent long hours making love.

~0~

When Daniel’s week ended, he moved his things into Jack’s cabin, quietly distributing his belongings as though he’d been rooming with Jack for years. Jack had taken care of all the arrangements with Mrs. Peterson.

On the first night Daniel had spent with him, Jack had made a deal with himself that he would forget about his real life for the time he was with Daniel. He refused to allow the real world to intrude on the time he had left with his lover.

Daniel had decided he’d be willing to meet Jack next year for two weeks, and Jack clung to that promise like a man drowning. He knew he faced a difficult year, having to live what amounted to a lie and bereft of Daniel’s love. With the promise of having his lover for even a short time, Jack knew he would be able to face his responsibilities.

The time Jack and Daniel had left passed quickly, too quickly. They partook of all the amenities April Point and Quadra Island had to offer, enjoying it all. They spent the time walking the trails, swimming, exploring the art galleries, taking in a few live bands and talking. Jack also insisted on taking Daniel fishing. Their silences during their chess games were comfortable without any of the awkwardness two near strangers might be expected to feel.

But most of their time was spent in bed, making love and falling deeper in love.

On their last full day, they surprised each other with the gifts each had purchased. Jack gave Daniel the beautiful photograph and Daniel presented Jack with a small, framed watercolor. They wanted to give each other a visual reminder of the time they’d spent here.

Jack knew he would hang the watercolor and the photograph where he could look at them daily and remember that there was one person in the world with whom he could be honest.

Their last night together was filled with an intensity neither man wanted to look at too closely.

They were lying in bed, naked and holding each other. “So, tell me, are there any rules here?” Daniel inquired.

“The only rule is to enjoy your life, Daniel,” Jack told him seriously.

“What about your life, Jack?” Daniel protested. He knew Jack wanted him to live his life and get some experience. Jack was going to go back to his real life, and all the responsibilities that entailed, including preparation to become a father. Daniel didn’t have a choice, he was still in the process of getting his education, but he worried his lover would be unhappy.

Jack gave Daniel a flippant answer, unwilling to tell him the entire truth, wanting Daniel to live his life and enjoy it without guilt. If it was for Daniel’s happiness, Jack was willing to sacrifice the honesty that defined their relationship.

“I’ll be fine, Daniel. I have a habit of landing on my feet.” Jack didn’t tell his lover he’d decided the day after their first whale-watching cruise that he was taking his CO’s advice about joining Special Ops. It meant more money, but more importantly, it would keep him traveling.

It was dangerous work, but Jack knew he couldn’t stay home and play the happy husband. Given how deeply he’d fallen in love with Daniel, he understood that every time he took Sara into his arms, it would be a betrayal of that love. He was willing to marry her because he cared for her and wouldn’t let his child be born without him in the picture. It didn’t mean he had to give away his soul three hundred and sixty five days a year.

“If you say so, Jack,” Daniel murmured, unwilling to spend their last night together arguing. His hand reached down and lightly fisted Jack’s penis. “Make love to me,” he demanded.

“God, to be twenty years old again,” Jack teased. Last night Daniel had spent over an hour licking and sucking every inch of him, while he writhed and squirmed, screaming the place down when Daniel finally let him come; tonight it was his turn to keep his lover riding the edge.

Jack flipped Daniel onto his belly and slid down his body, raising his hips and putting a pillow beneath him so his ass was raised, ready for Jack’s mouth.

Taking his time, Jack bit gently at Daniel’s ass before spreading his cheeks to lick and suck. Daniel began writhing and bucking under the assault of Jack’s mouth, his moans of pleasure filling the room.

Every time Jack took his cock deep in his throat he was brought to the edge and he cursed and pulled on Jack’s hair, begging to be allowed to come. Jack finally relented, pulling him to his knees.

Jack slicked himself up and entered his lover in a long, slow glide, struggling not to come. Grasping Daniel’s waist, Jack began to pump in long slow strokes.

He waited until Daniel began meeting his thrusts before he reached around to take his lover’s throbbing penis in his hand.

Jack’s grip was tight and perfect and he came, spilling over his moving hand and collapsed on the bed.

Following him down, Jack thrust strongly into Daniel’s ass and came deep inside his lover, the intensity of his orgasm rocking his body with sweet tremors for long minutes.

They fell asleep sticky, sated and tangled together.

~0~

Jack and Daniel made love again in the morning, tenderly, saying goodbye with every touch, proclaiming their love with every kiss.

They never spoke the words aloud, not at the cabin, not on the boat back to Vancouver, and not at the airport. They just walked to their separate terminals, having silently said everything they needed to before they ever left their bed.

### 1986 Through 1990

The lovers met every year, celebrating life’s joys and triumphs, and helping each other through the hardships and tragedies.

Daniel was happy to hear about the birth of Jack’s son, Charles Daniel, and his subsequent exploits. He was honored that his lover’s child carried his name. Jack loved being a father; it was evident in the stacks of photographs he brought with him every year, and the pride in his voice whenever he spoke about his son.

Of his work, he said little, Daniel able to infer more from what he didn’t say than from the little he disclosed. That Jack’s work was covert was apparent, and every year Jack seemed harder and more dangerous. They celebrated Jack’s promotions, and Daniel tried not to wonder why they came so fast.

Jack rarely spoke of Sara, other than to say she was a good mother, but there were no more pregnancies and Daniel supposed that said enough about their relationship.

Jack was excited when Daniel earned first one, then a second doctorate, and as he continued to gain fluency in one language after another, until Jack stopped counting at twenty. Daniel explained his theories and the difficulties he was having in getting his colleagues to look at the admittedly controversial evidence.

Daniel told him about his short-lived affair with Sarah Gardner, and how professional jealously had interfered, and eventually ended the relationship. And it was with a great deal of embarrassment that Daniel confessed his accidental marriage to an Egyptian girl; the marriage demanded by her father when Daniel had inadvertently spent an hour alone with the girl in an insignificant tomb with early hieroglyphics that she was helping Daniel catalog.

And every year, when they first saw each other, they fell into each other, kissing and touching hungrily, making love passionately, roughly, tenderly, greedily, both of them wanton and abandoned, their yearning and desire translated into harsh demands, until they were both sated.

Both of them knew that there were other partners, but they saved the best of themselves for each other. Neither of them expected that commitment from the other, it was only what they wanted to give.

They couldn’t be together anyplace in the world except here, not openly and not yet; the time wasn’t right. It might never be right, but once a year, they could stop living a lie, stop pretending, and just be.

They were in love; it meant nothing to anyone else and everything to them. They were both willing to accept the necessary limitations of their relationship; they loved and needed each other. It wasn’t perfect, but they wouldn’t be without each other for these two weeks, they sacrificed, and every year their love was reaffirmed and deepened.

### The Eighth Year, 1991

Daniel didn’t recognize Mrs. Peterson until she’d gently touched his arm after he disembarked from the ferry.

“Daniel, everything’s fine. Jack wanted me to meet you to prepare you,” Mrs. Peterson said softly.

“Prepare me for what?” he asked, heart pounding.

“I don’t know the whole story, but he’s only been out of the hospital for a few months. He was a POW in Iraq, Daniel,” she explained. She hadn’t recognized Jack when he had checked in earlier in the day and Jack had left it up to her to tell Daniel about his physical appearance.

“Oh, god,” Daniel moaned.

“He’s alive, Daniel. He’s got all his parts as far as I can tell, but he’s lost a great deal of weight and he’s… jumpy. Sorta wound up a bit too tight… He rented two cabins this year,” she informed him.

Daniel’s lips pursed and his eyes hardened in anger. He should have been with Jack from the moment he got home. “Take me to him,” he demanded. “And you can forget about that second cabin.”

Recognizing the stubborn look on Daniel’s handsome face, Mrs. Peterson grabbed his arm, and pointed him in the direction of Jack’s cabin. “Don’t worry about checking in, Daniel. You let me know when you’re ready and I’ll have a meal sent over,” she exclaimed.

Daniel hurried to the secluded cabin, taking a deep breath before he slowly pushed open the door. The cabin was dark, all the curtains pulled tightly closed and Jack was on the couch waiting for Daniel, haunted eyes turned toward the door.

Daniel tried not to show his shock at Jack’s appearance. He moved slowly toward the couch, not wanting to startle his lover.

Jack was a shadow of himself; emaciated and sallow, the circles under his eyes, dark and pronounced. His hair was lank, lacking its usual healthy luster. Jack’s body was in constant motion, his feet or his hands twitching at regular intervals and Daniel could sense his hyper awareness in the restless shifting of his eyes.

“Can I sit down?” he quietly asked his lover.

“Sure. I’m past the point where I’ll try and kill you if you get too close,” Jack answered bitterly.

“You could have called me, Jack. I would have come to you,” Daniel began.

“Believe me, Daniel, I thought about it. I didn’t want to see anyone when I first got back. I - - I haven’t been home yet. I don’t want Charlie seeing me like this,” he confessed.

“Why two cabins?” Daniel inquired.

“Well, I still tend to have pretty vivid nightmares and I don’t sleep much. I didn’t want to impose that on you,” Jack contended. “And, then there’s the fact that I really don’t know if I can make love with you yet.”

“When has it ever been just about sex for us, Jack? I’m staying here. If you want I’ll sleep in the other bedroom or on the couch. I know we usually spend a lot of time in bed, but that’s not what this is about for me, Jack,” Daniel said.

Daniel had managed to say the exact thing Jack needed to hear. He hadn’t gone home yet because he knew his marriage wasn’t strong enough to cope with his nightmares and PTSD. He had started therapy and was making progress, but therapy couldn’t touch his real concern.

Jack had been raped repeatedly in the Iraqi hellhole he’d been in. He could deal with that, he knew. Rape was a weapon used against prisoners and the military knew the process to get their members through it. What terrified him was the thought that he might never be able to make love with Daniel again. It wasn’t exactly a subject he could bring up with the Air Force therapist either.

Jack had pictured the conversation in his mind a hundred times. ‘Oh, and by the way, Doc. Any advice so I could hop back into bed with my hot boyfriend?’ That was the type of conversation that would get him a court martial. But for Jack, it was a real concern.

“I wouldn’t mind if you slept with me, Daniel. I just wanted you to understand what you were getting yourself into.”

“I knew what I was getting into years ago, Jack,” Daniel informed his lover. He wanted to take Jack into his arms and hold him, but he couldn’t make the first move. He knew enough about Middle Eastern prisons and the various methods of torture used to have a good idea what had been done to his lover.

Jack’s hand searched blindly for Daniel’s and the lovers sat in the dark room while Jack talked and Daniel listened.

~0~

Over the course of their two weeks together, Jack told Daniel everything that was done to him. When Daniel showed no signs of disgust or rejection, Jack began to lose some of his fears.

During the day, they took long walks, stopping frequently to rest or to eat. Daniel insisted Jack work out or swim for a half an hour each day. A hot tub had recently been installed and they used it after their workouts. It helped relax muscles made tense by stress.

The exercise helped Jack sleep more soundly at night. He still had nightmares and would for some time to come, but when he slept, he slept deeply. The small frequent meals added some needed pounds to his too thin frame, and the fresh air and sun got rid of the hospital and prison pallor.

Daniel was able to hold him every night, and within a few days, Jack was reaching out for kisses. He still flinched if Daniel moved too quickly, but he was starting to accept his lover’s slow and gentle caresses.

Two weeks wasn’t enough time for Jack to get over everything that had happened to him, but it was enough time for him to relearn to accept Daniel’s loving touch.

Daniel focused solely on Jack’s pleasure, and on giving him what he needed. Jack had been struggling with the fear of impotence, but he woke with morning erections, and Daniel took ruthless advantage late in their second week.

Daniel woke first, waiting for Jack to open his eyes. Slowly, so Jack could see what he was doing, Daniel moved to take Jack into his mouth.

Although in the past Jack preferred to have Daniel hold his hips down, or even lightly bind him, the last thing he needed now was to be submissive. Daniel took Jack’s hands and put them on his head, letting Jack know that he was in charge.

There was a brief moment of panic, and then Jack threaded his hands through the silken hair, holding Daniel’s head to his groin while he lightly thrust into the warm, wet mouth.

He came groaning, moments later, reaching for Daniel.

~0~

As they were getting ready for bed on their last night, Jack turned to Daniel, stroking his back lightly. “Daniel, I want to make love to you tonight, but there’s a something you need to know, first.”

Encouraged, as this was the first time Jack had reached out first, Daniel grinned. “I’m listening. Shoot.”

“I really want to try this, Daniel, but I’m afraid. What if I can’t?”

Daniel put his arms around Jack’s shoulder, and nuzzled his neck “If you can’t, you can’t. But, you’re a young man, Jack. You have to try again at some point,” Daniel said calmly.

“After I left you last year, I went home for a month and then on the mission where I got captured. I haven’t made love with anyone since you,” Jack confided.

They rarely discussed Sara, but Daniel couldn’t help his curiosity. “What about Sara?”

Jack gave a short sardonic laugh. “I’m not going to lie and say we never have sex, but we have less sex every year. It takes me longer and longer to go to bed with her every time I leave you.”

“And now you’re worried that you won’t be able to go to bed with her because of Iraq?” Daniel asked.

Jack let out a frustrated growl. “No, Daniel. I’m worried I won’t be able to make love to you tonight and if I don’t, I’ll have to wait a whole year. As far as going to bed with Sara, I don’t see it happening anytime soon… or even ever.”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out if you can make love to me,” Daniel said, lying down.

Jack followed, and for the first time in a year he was able to let himself go.

### The Ninth Year, 1992

It was Jack’s turn to comfort Daniel when he found him in their cabin crushed and weeping over the death of his wife just weeks ago.

Sha’re had been kidnapped and killed by her uncle and several cousins. When her father and brother refused to perform the honor killing that was expected of them, her uncle stepped in.

He had been humiliated by the reason for Sha’re’s marriage to an American from the moment the marriage vows were spoken. He felt it dishonored the entire family. He’d spent a great deal of his time attempting to convince his brother and nephew it was their duty to restore the family’s honor with no results. He and several of his sons took care of the problem.

Daniel was bereft. He’d married Sha’re in the hopes marriage would satisfy the family’s honor. Nothing untoward had happened between them, but even the appearance of inappropriate behavior was enough to get a young woman killed in the Middle East.

He loved Sha’re, took care of her, and accepted her love, but he had married her knowing the best of him was reserved for Jack. The guilt of cheating her out of a full marriage lay heavy on his shoulders.

Ironically, his own unlooked for marriage had given him a better understanding of Jack’s marriage and the reasons he’d felt compelled to go through with it. There had been times throughout the years when his loneliness had made him curse Jack and had him swearing he wouldn’t show up at April Point.

He knew he was a better choice for Sha’re than the man her father had been thinking about, but that did little to ease his guilt. Sha’re had loved him, more than he deserved, and he’d failed to protect her.

It was Jack’s turn to take care of him now, loving him, and shouldering much of his guilt. Jack also took careful note of the people involved in Sha’re’s death. Although he was no longer in Special Ops, he knew plenty of people who were.

Not wanting to burden his lover with any more problems, Jack never mentioned his growing concern over Charlie’s frequent nosebleeds.

Eight months later Daniel received word from his former father-in-law that his brother and the nephews involved in Sha’re’s death had been found shot and killed in their beds by unknown assailants. Daniel was taken by surprise when all he could bring himself to feel was a grim satisfaction by their untimely deaths.

### The Eleventh Year, 1994

Daniel found Jack in their cabin surrounded by photos of his dead son and a mostly empty bottle of Jack Daniels.

In the last months, Jack had phoned Daniel’s office twice to leave messages. The first message had said that he had retired in order to be with Charlie, once it became apparent he wasn’t going to recover from the cancer ravishing his body. One month later, another message was left, informing Daniel about Charlie’s death.

Daniel had been on a remote dig and by the time he’d received the first message, Charlie was gone.

The only thing that had kept Daniel from Jack’s door was knowing that April Point was two months away. Daniel dove harder into work to stem his own grief and pain. He hoped that Jack was able to turn to Sara for comfort.

Jack was a mess. His hair was as long as Daniel had ever seen it. He was unshaven and dirty, and he stunk. He was so drunk, he didn’t notice Daniel’s presence until he was touched.

Daniel wrestled his lover into a shower, washing and shaving him, and then put him to bed to sleep it off. He went and gathered the photographs, carefully putting them back in the box Jack had brought with him.

It was a task that broke Daniel’s heart. The photos gave mute testimony of a happy life cut short. Seeing the child he’d come to love frozen in joy in photo after photo brought him to his knees and he wept silently.

He got himself under control, wanting to be strong for his lover, stripped, and lay down next to Jack, cradling him.

Jack awoke in the middle of the night, and still half asleep and half drunk, drank deeply from the water tap, and brushed his teeth. He went back to bed, curled up next to Daniel and slept for another ten hours.

It was the first time since Charlie’s death that Jack had had a good night’s sleep. Even with sleeping pills and his own choice of Jack’s Daniels as a sleep aid, he would toss and turn and awaken after three or four hours.

Jack was pissed at the world. He was desolate that some stupid, fucking disease had taken his son and he was furious that the only person he needed beside him to help him cope with his grief hadn’t been able to be with him.

He ended up taking all his grief and fury out on Sara. She had needed him and he had been unable to give her anything, not his tears or even the comfort of his arms.

Daniel was right there when he opened his eyes, reluctant to face yet another day. “I didn’t throw up on you or anything last night, did I?”

“No, Jack, you didn’t. I wouldn’t have cared if you did, though,” Daniel said, taking Jack in his arms. “I’m so sorry, Jack. I – I would have been there, but…”

“It’s okay, Daniel. Your office told me you were on a dig and you probably wouldn’t get my message for a while,” Jack interrupted. “I got your card. Thanks for making a donation in Charlie’s name.” Jack had been touched and overwhelmed when he saw Daniel’s donation to finding a cure for childhood cancers had been for ten thousand dollars.

“I wish I could have know him, Jack. Not just through you, but really have known him,” Daniel grieved.

“He was so weak at the end, Daniel, he was just laying there, but he was aware. I… told him about you, Daniel, and it was almost like you were there with us,” Jack smiled briefly in remembrance. “I told him about all the stuff we’ve ever done and I told him that I loved you, and he… he smiled.”

Daniel struggled not to cry. “I’m glad, Jack. Glad that you were able to share part of yourself with him.”

“He died two days later,” Jack said brokenly. “I loved him so much, Daniel and I haven’t even been able to cry for him… not one tear,” Jack confessed, clinging to his lover. “And don’t you even _dare_ try and tell me everyone grieves differently!” he exploded.

Daniel stroked Jack’s back, soothing him, as he began to shake, not saying anything. He let Jack spew out his pain and waited for the storm he knew was coming.

Jack didn’t understand why he’d been unable to cry for his son. He didn’t realize he had been waiting for his lover before he would allow himself to break down. He’d spent so many years hiding his true self from Sara he was unable to stop, not even for the death of their son.

Secure in Daniel’s arms, Jack could feel the dam of his grief breaking, and his grief and anger and fury came pouring out in great, noisy sobs. Daniel held his broken lover, and cried with him for all that they’d lost.

~0~

The two men spent their two weeks mourning and celebrating life, theirs and Charlie’s. They revisited old ground, doing much of what Jack had told his son about, and they made love, the most elemental way of celebrating life after death.

They also cried, tears of joy, pain, and grief, the beginning of healing. Jack would never be the same. He would carry his son with him wherever he went, the pain of losing him would always be there; sometimes just beneath the surface, other times hidden deeper. Eventually Jack would come to an uneasy compromise with life, and a hard won acceptance of Charlie’s death.

The one thing Daniel had been unable to convince Jack to give up was his feeling that he’d been a bad father. It was still too soon, and Jack couldn’t stop thinking of all the things he hadn’t done as a parent, forgetting everything he had done.

When their time at April Point was over, Jack went home knowing his marriage was over. Charlie had been the glue that had held the marriage together from the start. Jack wouldn’t go back to living a lie. And the reason for the marriage was dead.

It would take some time to extradite himself from the marriage; he had no desire to hurt Sara. He would allow her to dictate whatever terms she felt necessary, letting her take her time if that was what she needed.

When he went to Daniel, he wanted to be free and clear. He knew Daniel wouldn’t take him any other way. He said nothing to his lover, the years they’d spent doing this had caused enough pain. He wouldn’t say anything until he’d broken free of his old life.

### The Twelfth Year, 1995

Daniel unpacked his carryall, anxious to see Jack. He could hardly believe they had been lovers for ten years. Ten years and only twenty weeks spent together. It was crazy, but Daniel wouldn’t have traded one moment of his time with Jack for all the money in the world.

He had ordered dinner for two to be sent later to the cabin. He spent the time waiting for Jack unpacking his bag and turning down the bed. He put aside the gift he’d bought planning on presenting it after dinner. He’d gotten him a pair of white gold cufflinks and a matching tie clip in celebration of their ten years. He wished he could give his lover a more personal gift, but didn’t want to put Jack in a position to have to hide or fabricate a reason for something more personal.

~0~

Jack got off the ferry, feeling nervous and anxious. Jack wasn’t often frightened, but that was what best described his dominant emotion. He was scared that this might be his last year with Daniel.

He’d done everything right. He’d gotten free of his marriage three months ago and then bought Daniel a romantic gift, even going so far as to rehearse speeches to ask his lover to finally settle down with him.

Then, two weeks ago, the Air Force had come knocking on his door to recall him to duty. He was given no say or choice in the matter. The truly fucked up thing was that the Air Force came for him because they thought he had nothing left to live for.

They knew his son was dead, knew he and Sara were divorced, knew there was nothing preventing him from taking what might very well be a suicide mission. They didn’t know about Daniel.

He agreed to go with them, insisting he be given two days to in order to clear up some personal business. Until they figured out the artifact, Jack wasn’t really needed, which he’d pointed out to them five times before the brass had relented. If he’d had to go AWOL to see Daniel, he would have done so.

Jack didn’t know how he was going to explain any of this to his lover. Or the fact that he couldn’t stay. He had a flight scheduled back to Colorado Springs tomorrow afternoon.

He had one saving grace; Daniel had a unique skill set that gave Jack the creditability he needed to bring Daniel onto Project Giza. And that would happen only if Daniel was prepared to give up nearly everything he’d ever worked for.

~0~

Jack was dressed casually, but he might as well have been wearing dress blues. He was fidgety and uncomfortable, wanting to tell Daniel that he couldn’t stay, yet reluctant to ruin Daniel’s mood. He hadn’t mentioned his divorce either. If Daniel decided not to join Project Giza, Jack didn’t want to give him the hope of a future they might never have.

Daniel was surprised when Jack didn’t rush him off to bed. He sat on the couch and watched his lover pace, his bare feet somehow rendering him less dangerous than Daniel was used to seeing him.

Daniel had picked up on his mood immediately. He said nothing, but felt uneasy. Although Jack hadn’t come out and said his marriage was over after Charlie’s death, Daniel had picked up on a few subtle clues that he was looking to formally end his union with Sara. He now began worrying that if Jack _had_ gotten divorced, he was now seeing somebody in his real life and was here to end their relationship.

If Jack were free, why wouldn’t he look for companionship, Daniel thought to himself. He was a young and virile man; why be satisfied with a lover two weeks out of the year when he could have someone by his side all the time. There was nothing standing in his way.

“Jack? Is everything alright?” Daniel finally asked.

Jacked walked to the couch and knelt in front of Daniel, his hands settling possessively on his thighs. “Can we talk about it later, Danny? Right now, I just want to go inside that bedroom with you and I want you to make love to me. Can we do that? Please?”

Daniel stood and entered the bedroom in answer. Jack followed, rapidly stripping off his shirt and removing his dog tags, placing them on the nightstand. He moved to Daniel, stilling his hands. “Let me undress you.”

Jack slowly stripped him, his hands shaking as golden flesh was revealed. He took his time, wanting to make this last, needing to make a lasting memory for himself in case he was never able to touch Daniel again.

He could smell Daniel’s arousal, and bent to taste him, licking at hardened nipples with the broad flat of his tongue. He held his lover’s naked body against his, feeling the heat even through his jeans.

“I want to feel you, Jack.”

Stepping back, Jack swiftly removed the rest of his clothes, and then clung to Daniel, kissing him, his mouth devouring and owning his lover.

Ripping his mouth away, Jack begged, “I need you inside me, Daniel.”

Sensing Jack’s need, Daniel took control and backed his lover onto the bed, placing him on his back, knees bent and legs spread wide.

He knelt between Jack’s legs, eyes feasting on the stiff cock and heavy balls. Running his hands on the insides of the strongly muscled thighs, Daniel licked his lips and heard Jack’s soft whimper.

He began licking at Jack’s balls, taking them in his mouth one at a time and pressing them against the roof of his mouth. He moved on to Jack’s perineum, greedily sucking until his lover began thrusting, desperate for friction against his weeping cock.

Daniel moved up the bed and fed Jack his cock, lightly pushing into his mouth, until his balls were resting on Jack’s chin and he was glistening with salvia.

He pulled out when he felt himself getting close to the edge and quickly turned Jack on his side, shoving Jack’s top leg up, spreading his ass.

He positioned his cock at Jack’s entrance, panting. “You ready, babe?”

“God, yeah.”

Daniel pushed, slowly and steadily until he felt his balls resting on Jack’s ass. He brought Jack tightly against his chest and started to thrust.

Jack met every thrust, slamming back against Daniel, dragging his lover’s hand down to his aching cock

Daniel stroked into Jack, pumping his cock, and moaning at the tight heat surrounding his throbbing cock.

Jack’s senses were on overload. The musky aroma from their passion, coupled with Daniel’s moans, the lingering taste of his lover, the calloused hand tightly gripping his cock, and Daniel’s penis, filling him and stroking his prostate, violently ripped his orgasm from him, a ragged scream torn from his throat.

Seeing Jack lose control and come apart so thoroughly pushed Daniel over the edge and he came long and hard, biting at Jack’s neck.

They lay together for long minutes, until their breathing evened out and Daniel softened and slid out of Jack.

Jack turned in Daniel’s arms, holding tightly, his face buried in Daniel’s neck. Daniel stroked his hair, crooning words of love.

“I can’t stay, Daniel,” Jack finally whispered, still clinging to Daniel.

Daniel felt his heart pounding in fear and moved out of Jack’s arms, needing to see his face. He’d known something was wrong and he was terrified Jack was leaving him. “Can you tell me why?” Daniel asked, trying to keep his voice from betraying his fear.

“I’ve been recalled to active duty. I need to be in Colorado Springs tomorrow,” Jack replied bitterly. “There’s a new project and it seems the brass can’t do without my presence. If this operation gets off the ground, it might mean we can’t do this anymore.”

“I – I don’t understand, Jack,” Daniel choked out.

“Look, babe…” he began. “I had been making some. . . plans for us, Danny, but when has my life ever worked out the way I wanted it to?” Jack railed.

“Here’s a silver lining for you, though,” he said, his voice laden with sarcasm. “Although you might not think so once you’ve heard the details.”

“I’ve got the rank and the authorization to pick my own team and as it happens I need a linguist,” he hinted, leaning over the side of the bed and pulling out an envelope from his overnighter. He handed Daniel the envelope.

“That’s a plane ticket to Colorado Springs. I want you to come with me,” he pleaded.

“So what’s the problem, Jack?” he asked.

“There’s a lot of potential for danger, Daniel. And it would mean you giving up your life, at least for the short term . You’d never be able to share whatever you learn and if we’re successful it would mean a permanent relocation to Colorado,” Jack confessed. He wasn’t able to tell Daniel about the strange artifact the military was working on but he wanted his lover to understand all the repercussions he would be facing should he decide to sign onto the project.

“Would we be together?” Daniel demanded.

“I’m second in command of the entire operation. So, yeah, you’d be wherever I say,” Jack explained.

“Then that’s where I want to be, Jack,” Daniel insisted, grasping Jack’s forearm in emphasis.

“Are you sure, Daniel? Are you really ready to give up what you’ve worked so hard for, to be with me?” Jack said, unknowingly exposing both his love and his vulnerability.

“I’m sure, Jack,” he whispered.

“Then there’s one other thing I want to give you, Daniel,” Jack said. He retrieved a small box from his carryall and handed it to his lover.

Daniel opened the box to see a thick band of platinum, with a center groove, surrounded by a matte finish. Jack held up the dog tags that he’d hurriedly tossed aside when they’d entered the bedroom, displaying a platinum ring with a matte finish, but no center groove.

“I’m free, Danny. The divorce was official three months ago. I didn’t want to say anything until it was done,” Jack said lovingly.

“I… I thought you were leaving me. I thought maybe you’d found someone else,” Daniel admitted.

“I haven’t wanted anyone else since I’ve met you, Daniel. Look at the inscription inside your ring,” Jack advised.

Examining the inside of his band, Daniel saw the simple engraved inscription; ‘Mo Ghra Go Deo’, My Love Forever, in Gaelic. Jack’s band had no inscription and he raised questioning eyes to Jack.

“I thought you might like to pick out the inscription yourself,” Jack said.

“Okay. Then I’m going with ‘Ti Amo Per L’eternita’. And it’s true, Jack. I will love you forever,” Daniel decided. “We’ll get it done today.”

Jack took the ring out of his hands and placed it on Daniel’s right ring finger. “I’d marry you if I could, Danny. The military has cost me more than I was ever prepared to give. I’m not gonna let it cost me you,” he insisted.

“It’s cost me, too, Jack. It’s cost me years when we couldn’t be together, and it’ll keep costing me if we can’t be together openly, but I don’t care,” Daniel exclaimed passionately. “I love you and I want to be with you. Wherever that turns out to be and no matter the cost.”

“Whatever happens, Daniel, we do it together. If the project doesn’t get off the ground, we go on with our lives. If it does work out, we’ll have to be careful, but we’ll still be together,” Jack promised.

“Jack, are _you_ sure? We both know the consequences if you get caught,” Daniel reminded his lover.

“They came after me, Daniel. They’re going to have to take me as is. I know where too many of the bodies are buried. If we get caught… well, we’ll cross that bridge if we get to it.” Jack assured his lover. “I bought the rings before I was recalled. I was thinking we’ve been together for ten years and it was time to really be together.”

Jack cupped Daniel’s throat and brushed his lips over his lover’s mouth. “It’s what I wanted from the start, but…” he faltered.

Daniel stopped him with another kiss, understanding everything that had kept them apart. Caressing Jack’s beloved face, he whispered, “To every thing there is a season. It’s our turn now.”

Kissing, the two men were elated that their season had finally arrived.


End file.
